Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Advice On Help Save Marriage And My Kids Today

February 28, 2010 by FTS_author  
Filed under Married Or Divorce Couples

Help Save Marriage – A current statistic shows that almost half of all marriage end in divorce. Divorce is complex for everyone concerned, but maybe the most difficult on children. In most cases they experience many inner thoughts that they do not comprehend. They go through a range of emotions and want their dad and mom to understand. If you are going through a divorce getting to realize how your children are dealing with it is important.

Whenever mother and father divorce, they normally put their young children in the center of bickering and a game of mental tug of war. To avoid this sort of factor parents need to work together. Although their marriage is over they are still parents together. The kid needs to understand many things in regards to the divorce. Parents need to communicate their kids and understand the many feelings they may be having. Older children, especially, can go through periods where they act out as a way to deal with the divorce. Often times kids feel the separation and divorce is their fault. They may worry about the future and how to deal with other events, like parent’s day at school. Both parents need to show the children that they can work together and not fight. At the same time it is important to let the children know that you are not getting back together. Establishing some sort of family structure is a necessity to help children get back to “normal”.

Children will react different depending on their age. The following list explains a little about each age group and how they react to divorce.

Age 3-5: Regression to a more infantile state, problems sleeping, fear of separation

Age 6-8: Fantasies of parents getting back together, open emotions

Age 8-11: Anger, treat one parent as good the other as bad, take a caregiver role

Age 12-18: Depression, violent actions, judgmental of parents, develop anxiety about own relationships

Learning to aid your children cope through divorce is possible the most important step in the divorce process. Children have no choice in the matter and may feel completely left out if their feelings are not recognized.

However, for more often than not in a divorce marriage, both sides can avoid going through the period of divorce. The couple should back up a little bit and see the reason why they are at loggerhead. Filing for a divorce with kids is an irresponsible way of approaching a marriage relationship. Instead of finding ways to help save marriage, the adults or couple are so much in their own world and totally forget about the kids.

Consider before filing a divorce. Not simply separation and divorce can’t help save marriage, but it will be an mental roller coaster ride for the kids.

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